I need to find the right place, the right existing place.

First of all, stop being a God damn pussy. I'm tired of the "oh whoa is me" crap. I've spent a decent amount of time going through all the journals and comments, and deviations and I just want say, suck it the fuck up. Yes it's your fault. Yes you did fuck up. Yeah life sucks, yes he was a jerk, yeah she was a bitch. Sure what they did was fucked up, of course what happened was wrong. Congratulations your a fucking living breathing poem. A pat on the back for those who alive to see another day. You say it's so damn hard, that things are getting to personal, that you don't know how much longer you can take it. Domino effect, Lobster effect, effect, destroy. Stand strong and the rest with stand with you. Give in, and they'll retreat before ye. Smile and they smile, cry and they cry, laugh, and they'll laugh with you. This is the effect, that is what's deployed.

Away, so far away, so deliberately existent, so incompatible with twice.

I could do the obvious and rant about how I have it worse than they do, or the obvious and point out certain people who go though a hell of a lot worse. But no, this time I think I'm hit you at home, because I would hurt a fly.

Oh how good it would feel to smash or break something, to just slam it on the ground and enjoy the shatter.

I have no world, and if I did, I'd have to say that it consists of bits and pieces of everyone else’s. But everyone is stuck inside their own bubble. I have worked hard to create a hole I could escape though out of mine. Travel to and fro and live there long enough to see the different structures and architectures of life and certain things become clear. The world revolves around no one, the world revolves around the sun and frankly I don't think she's leaving her husband anytime soon. So wake up, smell the concrete, the mountain's breath, the forests dew, and the city's smog. I can guarantee all those place are as different as they are the same. I find my center to be of further consequence, than that of the places I can name. But revolve around that center, not the other way around. We revolve around each other, and how we treat one another and appear to one another effects us more than you'd like to think, more than your willing to accept. The world is as beautiful as we make it, so if it's ugly in the future it's because we did nothing about it now, if it's horrible in the future it's because of us to begin with. This generation is what decides the futures outlook. So stop being a weakling because it's now that we need to be strong, because it's now when we are at are most, strong, most, sharp, at our most keen, our prime, don't let it slip.

How wonderful the toy world is, endless fields of green, limitless architectural designs as far as the imagination wills it.